Songs 5:1
I am His Garden.
I am a place of cultivation, I grow things that are pleasing and refreshing to Jesus. He comes to it as a resting place.
I am His treasure. I am His bride.
I am valued above all else, he chooses me, he loves me above all others, I am His bride, He will share the most intimate places of His heart with me.
I gather my myrrh and spices.
When I lay myself down, when I choose Him over my fleshly desires it grows something of value and worth for Jesus.
My treasure, my darling, my dove, my perfect one.
I am focused on Jesus, a lifelong, devoted lover, He sees no spot or blemish in me, nothing against Him, nothing repulsive or abrasive, just a devoted, pure, dear, worthy, valuable lover.

Songs 5:12
His eyes sparkle like doves besides springs of water.
His eyes are intriguing, they pull me in and I can tell by them he is fully committed to me. He has eyes only for me. His gaze is refreshing, it brings life to my soul. It washes and cleanses me, it's pure, new and unpolluted.
They are set like jewels washed in milk.
His eyes sparkle and have many facets, they are transparent and beautiful to gaze into, and when I do they nourish my soul with truth and life that is easy to digest, His eyes are gentle.

Songs 5:13
His cheeks are life a garden of spices giving off a fragrance.
His emotions are full of different varieties but they each pour forth a beautiful smell that evokes memory and emotion. His emotions draw me in and are strongly tied to my soul. I'm hard wired to be strongly evoked by the fragrance of His emotions.
His lips are like lilies, perfumed with myrrh.
His words are common and down to earth. He speaks simply so I can understand. He speaks so that I can comprehend and by His words I understand that He is willing and has given everything to me. He has loved me to the death. He has given everything to me.

Thank you Jesus for Brian Brent. He's really called me higher this week. I spend so much mental energy in judgement. "I don't see them in the prayer room very often." "Didn't he just tell us not to do that in class? Weren't they listening?" "They don't seem very passionate." Aghh, how awful is that? I may not say these things out loud but I make agreements with them in my heart.

But that's not who I'm called to be. I'm going to be like Father God. He never calls us as we truly are. He views us with eternal eyes, calling us higher, into our eternal destiny. "You're a nation shaker, John! You've got faith to move mountains and raise the dead." He doesn't call out my immaturity, he looks deep inside, into my potential, into who He's shaping me to be. And He speaks life into it. "I believe in you, John! You are an overcomer. You're a mighty warrior!"

I want to be like that! I want to throw down my pride. I am not the standard for dedication and faithfulness to Jesus. Why do I treat people like they have to live up to my benchmarks? Brain said, "If you're standing about someone you see all their weaknesses, but if you're below them you see all their greatness." I want to be low, I want to be humble. I will go low, I will be humble. Jesus, I choose to break my agreements with the spirit of judgment. I want to see them like you do. Forgive me for being so prideful. Thank you for revealing this to me. I'm going to be like you. Give me the ability to be humble. Thanks.

Corey Stark, from IHOP, has been with us this week teaching on intercession. (It's got me pumped, so good!). The fuel for intercession is the knowledge of God. Intercession is governance. The 24 elders gaze, the highest ranking members of God's government, spend all their energy gazing on God's beauty, increasing in the knowledge of God. When God reveals new facets of His character the elders fall down and sing new songs about God's majesty. These songs become revelation to others. When people hear the new revelation is causes them fall more in love. Love leads us to obedience. Obedience is governance. When God's government is established, when the world is aligned with His mind, the world and it's people are transformed.

Corey shared his friend's throne room encounter with the four creatures God created to exclusively gaze on His beauty. Allen Hood thought just like me. I always thought it kind of sucked for these creatures. They're weird looking and have to spend all their time worshiping. AGH, boring! Do they ever get a break? I just didn't get it.

God created them to continually be filled with wonder and pleasure. They were created to see God like no one else can. His friend was taken up to Heaven and saw these creatures covered with eyes. (Revelation 4:6) But the creatures looked at him with only two eyes open. Corey's friend explained they only needed two eyes to see him. All the other eyes were only useful to see God.

Our retinal cells are created to only take in a certain scale of wavelengths. That's why we can't see UV light, microwaves or X-rays. The protein triggers only fire when a unique wavelength of light hits them. A couple hours after Corey shared his friends story, it hit me (revelation from God), the creatures eyes aren't all the same. It's not like they're just getting the same picture from each of their eyes. Their eyes are literally created to take in different wavelengths of God's light and glory so they can experience Him in all His glory. Each eye has a different retinal makeup with the ability to see the whole spectrum. It's like each eye is a different telescope. Some are calibrated to see radio waves, others infrared light and so on. Their brains are uniquely wired to process all this information and be filled with pleasure when God releases new waves of His glory. These creatures don't have to stay in the throne room and worship. God doesn't have them chained down. But where else would they want to be?

Last bit of revelation I got today: We are all created to make God uniquely happy. No one makes Him happy like I do. I love the taste of Pepsi. It is uniquely made to trigger my taste buds and bring me pleasure from it's flavor. God has senses (taste buds) that only I get to trigger. He loves the "taste" of me. My love is so unique. When I'm craving Lou Malnati's, nothing else does the trick. God craves my love. He's jealous for my time and attention. Good thing it's so awesome to get to know Him. Just like the creatures with all the eyes, I was made to be satisfied entirely by God. God created me to love Him because He loves my "taste." But He also made me in a way where I get the most pleasure out of life when I do what I was created to do - love Him. Cool cycle right?

On Friday, my outreach team does community outreach in the afternoon. Today we did a LIFE siege. It's your basic intercession for the ending of abortion in America. I had a cool thought today while praying.

I was struck with pride and felt very privileged when I realized I was an active member of God's government. Intercession is how God governs the world. He moves, determining the fate of nations, according the prayers of His friends. Check out how Moses did it in Exodus 32:11-14.

The idea that God trusts me enough to include me in that government is really cool. He made a conscious choice to include me. I wouldn't understand intercession unless God explained it to me. I would scoff at it. It doesn't really make sense in a humanistic worldview. The idea that my prayers carry more power to change the world than Obama's signature is pretty outrageous. But God showed me it's really the way He does things. And in doing so, invited me to be a part of it.

I have the complete attention and resource of Heaven's court. God, creator and governor of the universe listens to me. So today, I asked God to have mercy. To cleanse my nations sin in the blood of Jesus and end abortion. Way cool.

I am a billion times a billion, with thoughts that stretch from one side of the universe to other,
yet so small the entirety of all that I am fits a hundred wide on the tip of a pen.

I am cells expressing proteins, expressing my wonder to the God who made me,
a spirit hidden in a body created to be just a little lower than He who made me.

I am a billion times a billion, written in four letters and twenty one words,
Carbon, hydrogen and eternal spirit.

I am electrical pulses, ion imbalances, translated to tears and laughter,
I eat the earth, I drink the rain and I absorb the sun.

Praise the LORD who created me, see what He has done and make noise
with the voice that he gave you.

A voice that creates invisible waves that break over my ears and pull open doors.
Doors that flood with ions that open channels that flood with ions.

Channels become networks that become emotions that become
man and wife lying in each others arms multiplying a billion times a billion.

I'll say it again, Praise the LORD who created you, see what He has done and drop
in awe and wonder, throw up your hands, beat your chest and be caught up in His wonder.

I am a billion times a billion with a million choices, listening to a million voices,
pleading for my affection, clawing for my attention yet lately I find myself captivated by only one.

One man, one voice.
My life. My choice.

Jesus.

He is y=1/x. PV=nRT
The square root of -9 and 4/0.

Author of a billion stars, the planet mars, my DNA,
3x10^8, the warm sun on my cheek, the bounce in my step and the song
on repeat that I can't get enough of.

He's like looking over the crest of my first roller coaster, wide eyed and terrified
but strapped in with no escape knowing that I'm completely safe.
My stomach drops, I scream out loud, my mind is torn, is this shear terror or complete elation?

He's a tornado, a mile high, a mile wide, thunder and lighting, rain and hail,
Bigger than my house, bigger than the sun, bigger than a billion stars
stretching a billion miles made with a number of atoms that would kill if you could comprehend it.

He is a billion times a billion times a billion times a billion times a billion.
And I am so small. So very, very small.

But this God has two eyes and so do I and he's told me one thing.
He sees me and when I look at him and he is undone, I am his favorite one.

I feel like I got some revelation tonight on creativity while I was in the prayer room. Here's what I wrote down:

God created me to give him praise and glory. (I make God happy like no one else can). He made it fun for me to give him glory. I praise him and love him more as I discover his beauty.

He then gives me songs, dance, poems and art to express uniquely my heart enjoying his revealed character. My art is the unique expression of how I see him--my art is unique worship he designed for me to give to him.

He gives me my ability to worship him through art--he gives it because he enjoys receiving it (he's worthy of it. sooo worthy of it).

He gives me a song so I can express what He's revealed about himself in my heart. I sing it to him because I see that he's beautiful. When I sing others get to see a new side of God and He basks in the joy of being seen for the beautiful, good God that he is. So cool. So be creative and ask him for your style. He wants to give it to you.

This might not be true, I can't find the study (didn't look that hard) but rumor has it scientists conducted an experiment to examine the role boundaries had on children.

Playground equipment was placed in the middle of a large grassy area hedged in by a fence. For three weeks the children played and used the entire area. They rode around the merry-go-round, they ran on the grass up to the fence and did a good job at being kids.

After the three weeks the outer fence was removed. Without this boundary, the children no longer felt as secure and they remained close to the playground equipment. When they were hedged in, they felt safe.

Why did I view God's instructions any different? They're safe boundaries. When I live inside them I'm free to live life to the fullest. Without them, I don't feel safe.

Psalm 119

1  Joyful are people of integrity,
      who follow the instructions of the LORD.
 2 Joyful are those who obey his laws
      and search for him with all their hearts.
 3 They do not compromise with evil,
      and they walk only in his paths.
 4 You have charged us
      to keep your commandments carefully.
 5 Oh, that my actions would consistently
      reflect your decrees!
 6 Then I will not be ashamed
      when I compare my life with your commands.
 7 As I learn your righteous regulations,
      I will thank you by living as I should!
 8 I will obey your decrees.
      Please don’t give up on me!